1) You say….attracting to the audience…..Instead “appealing to the audience”.
2) Re Panels 1 & 5 you say….. Those who have seen the promotional posters will recognise the significant black boat…… The significance of the black boat needs to be explained. I suggest you reference the title of the track you used in your music video. Also upload the magazine advert. A different examiner marks your evaluation so evidence is all important.
3) Re Panels 2, 3 & 4…..emphasise the close references between these panels and the strong links to the mise-en-scene in your music video. They are snap shots of the solitary performer’s reflections on her day out on the Norfolk Coast and Norfolk Broads. The images are not generic to the genre of the band but are a strong visual link to your music video,
4) Magazine advert: You have focused on the lonely black boat in the foreground, this is a metaphor for the girl who meanders in the music video alone in her thoughts. You say she is not telling a story…..this is good but instead of saying “the scenery is” instead reference Goodwin’s Theory that this “amplifies the relationship between the lyrics and the visuals” (Goodwin). You may Zoe wish to quote the lyrics of “Boat Song” to support your point here.
5) Promotional poster…..the black boat is not as far as I can see visible in all your print productions. But instead say something like…the repeated motif throughout the promotional package are the recurring images of the seascape, the broads and the sky thus injecting all the productions with imagery that connotes a sense of space, liberty and solitude.
A proficient response and splendidly organised.
ReplyDeleteTo strengthen:
1) You say….attracting to the audience…..Instead “appealing to the audience”.
2) Re Panels 1 & 5 you say….. Those who have seen the promotional posters will recognise the significant black boat……
The significance of the black boat needs to be explained. I suggest you reference the title of the track you used in your music video. Also upload the magazine advert. A different examiner marks your evaluation so evidence is all important.
3) Re Panels 2, 3 & 4…..emphasise the close references between these panels and the strong links to the mise-en-scene in your music video. They are snap shots of the solitary performer’s reflections on her day out on the Norfolk Coast and Norfolk Broads. The images are not generic to the genre of the band but are a strong visual link to your music video,
4) Magazine advert: You have focused on the lonely black boat in the foreground, this is a metaphor for the girl who meanders in the music video alone in her thoughts. You say she is not telling a story…..this is good but instead of saying “the scenery is” instead reference Goodwin’s Theory that this “amplifies the relationship between the lyrics and the visuals” (Goodwin). You may Zoe wish to quote the lyrics of “Boat Song” to support your point here.
5) Promotional poster…..the black boat is not as far as I can see visible in all your print productions. But instead say something like…the repeated motif throughout the promotional package are the recurring images of the seascape, the broads and the sky thus injecting all the productions with imagery that connotes a sense of space, liberty and solitude.